Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Poetry - Show Don't Tell

Here's a little piece that I wrote for an exercise from yesterday. We were challenged to write a poem comprised of a list of things.

OFFICE SPACE

A painted stone,
a watercolor print,
a pin up sign
bought in a vengeful moment.

Listen beneath the surface,
peace and quiet,
what goes around comes around...
fleeting moments
of self assuredness.

This poem went over quite well in class, but the teacher felt perhaps the first stanza could stand alone. Classmates offered that the sayings in the 2nd stanza may be too much and I could show what the items were rather than tell. The teacher said the reader is left wanting with only the first stanza so showing more could work. I love this class.

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